posted by Scene -- @ 6:59 PM

“We’re Taking Over The World”
(originally from MacMedia - 2002 Summer Edition)

No, not MacMedia. No, not McLaughlin College. And no, definitely not York University. Starbucks. I am a Starbucks Barista, and have been for two years. And we are taking over the world of art and entertainment.

I was skeptical at first, the store manager of my local Starbucks telling me during my job interview that they were committed to advancing the artistic community through funding and other types of support. “Interesting,” I said, nodding my head with a fake glimmer of admiration in my eyes. Little did I know how serious they were or how high their ambitions soared. Starbucks didn’t just want to “support” the artistic community, it wanted to devour it, reshape it, and mutate it into a symbiotic relationship where art and coffee equaled the same overly-caffeineated siamese creature.

Flash-forward to two years later, the present day, and what I have become party to boggles the mind and discombobulates the anti-corporate conscience. Starbucks: sponsor of the Toronto International Film Festival, venue to graffiti art shows, host of live jazz music and poetry readings.

And what did I expect? This is a company that has raised coffee brewing and tasting to the level of abstract art. Where whiffing the aroma of a freshly brewed pot of Arabian Mocha Sanani is equivalent to seeing the brush stroke of a Jackson Pollock, with each receiving equal amounts of “oohs” and “ahs” from the upper-middle class elite, and looks of disdain from the un-cultured ‘normals’. They’ve even raised drink calling to the level of art. “Can I get a/Double Tall/Extra HOT/(but no whip)/Skinny like a lady/Foamy little Latte/” I call every night like a bohemian beat poet, reciting my lyrics to the beat of espresso tampers and the jazzy hiss of hot coffee as it pours and flows like syrupy soul music.

All this while the latest and hipest Starbucks mixtape plays in the background and sells on the shelves. Music by great and diverse artists such as Jill Scott, Olu Dara, Moby, Belle and Sebastian, Erykah Badu, Zero 7, Tom Waits, and many more. The sheer amount of music and musicians that the ‘Bucks has ad(co)opted for their artistic image is staggering and compelling.

But enough with the in-house aspects. Starbucks has grown much too large to be contained within its own environmentally and culturally controlled environment. As a cultural entity, Starbucks can be found as a character in several movies—sorry, I mean “films”—with a bit part in "Miss Congeniality", as a piece of the corporate ensemble in "Josie and the Pussycats", and as a supporting character in "I Am Sam" (for what is Sean Penn’s character arc without the daunting task of operating the espresso bar?) It has been featured on Mad TV with its flagship character Ms Swan, and has been a frequent topic of comedian Dennis Leary. It has played major roles in the great American comic strips "Adam" and "Zits". In short, it has dominated North American culture, with stores recently opened in Great Britain and Malaysia (look out world, here we come!)

What’s my point? Well, I don’t have one really…I’m just overly-caffeineated, I can’t sleep, and I had a deadline to meet. A state of affairs that you Frosh will no doubt become acquainted with over the next few months. But always remember; don’t stress too much, because school is not the be all and end all. I know if I don’t get what I want out of our Fine Arts program, well, at least I have my Barista Certification. And that’s just as good as a BFA any day.

-J.